Welcome to the Fairy Factoid, a creation from the mind of Andrew Barriger. Of itself, that's pretty scary—Just read his biography and you'll begin to understand.  But with the cast of characters in the Factoid, another dimension of his personality presents itself. One thing you can depend on, however, the Factoid is total, reliable truth!

The Fairy Factoid by Andrew Barriger     Sex!  Hot kinky sex!  Sex!  “What on Earth is he talking about,” that is your part.  Sex sells.  That’s what our high-priced marketing consultant told us.     Like all print publications, we here at the Fairy Factoid must be concerned with our readership.  How many readers do we have?  What can we do to get more?  Well, not being stupid, we pondered the thought over our mocha caffe lattes and hot chocolate.  Of course, this week, our weekly staff meeting was held by phone – me at Starbuck’s, they at some little out of the way place in Athens.  Colin was still in bed, a little too much, well, Athens, the night before.     So, this week, Daniel had the helm.  Daniel in charge is actually a relief.  Colin is a better people person, obviously, but Daniel is the brains of the field team.  I knew he would have an answer.     “They want us to have sex?” he asked.     “Not you specifically,” I responded.  In my mind, I saw a mental image of Daniel – about six feet tall, sandy brown hair with just enough body to keep it from looking straight, short but not shaved, just enough “product” to keep it trendy.  The slightest hint of stubble, and those eyes…stratosphere blue, like sapphires raining from the night sky—     “Andy, what do you think?”     “Huh?”  I realized I’d lost track of the conversation.  Bad me.     Ever patient, Daniel repeated, “I was asking how you thought we should integrate sex into the article.  Is there something you want to investigate?”     I bit back a more direct comment.  “We need to stay on track,” I said.  “You know how the editor gets if we deviate too much.  That whole broomstick thing still gets me in hot water.”     “You did a good job on that,” Daniel responded.  He’s always so supportive.  “Maybe we should use our presence here in Greece as a theme.”     “That’s worked so far.  What do you have in mind?”     Daniel sighed, his phone a little staticky halfway around the world.  Then his voice perked up.  “I think I have it!” he exclaimed.  “When I was talking to Betty last week, she mentioned something about which constellations were gay.”     “Are there gay constellations?” I asked, dubious.     “It might be something to check out.”     I frowned.  “How does that relate to sex?  Remember, Daniel, we’re supposed to be including some sex here.”     Daniel conferred with one of the other team members, then came back on the line.  “Orion,” he said.     “Orion?”     “Yep.  Carried a big sword.  Had to have some kind of sexual implications.”  Again, someone mumbled in the background.  “Oh, good one!” Daniel agreed.     “Yes?” I prompted, not sure I was ready for the gay sex zodiak.  Weren’t a lot of them animals?     “Gemini!” Daniel said.     “The twins,” I observed.     “Twin boys,” Daniel clarified.     “Have you been drinking?” I asked.     “Nope, stone sober.  It’s the best we’ve got right now.”     “Maybe you should call Betty again.”  I knew his friend Betty often contributed ideas to their little escapades.  Someday I’d have to send her a copy of the Factoid’s credit card bill.     “It was her idea to begin with,” Daniel reminded me.     “Right…” I said.  Scarcely able to believe what I was about to say, I continued, “Okay, go with it.  You’ve got lead on this one, Daniel.  Just get Colin some more ouzo and you shouldn’t have a problem.  I’ll explain it to the editor.”     “You’ll love it – I promise!  Yasoo!” using the Greek greeting that meant both hello and goodbye, he hung up.  I pressed “end” on my phone and set it down, sipping from my steaming cup of hot chocolate.      So, we would be publishing an article on which of the constellations were gay.  Hopefully, my resume wouldn’t take too long to update… The Fairy Factoid is extensively researched and painstakingly presented by Andrew Barriger, author of Finding Faith and various arguably factual histories of world cultures.  Neither the author nor the editor is responsible for any factual errors that may be contained herein, especially when the research team has spent a week in Greece drinking ouzo. Home • Issue #5 Front Page • Newsletter Archives • Article Archives