 Jerry
Flack reviewsMichael Thomas Ford's Ultimate Gay Sex |
| ULTIMATE GAY SEX by Michael Thomas Ford Hardcover: 192 pages DK Publishing; (April 19, 2004) ISBN: 0789496976 Michael Thomas Ford, famed for his Lambda-winning humor essay collections such as ALEC BALDWIN DOESN'T LOVE ME from his “Trials of My Queer Life” series as well as his instructive books 100 QUESTIONS & ANSWERS ABOUT AIDS: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW and VOICES OF AIDS that are used in sex education classes for young adults in the U.S.A. and numerous other nations, now turns his versatile writing talent to advising gay men about their sex lives via the glossy coffee table book ULTIMATE GAY SEX. DK (Dorling Kindersley, Ltd.) Publishing, distinguished especially for their brilliant color photography information books, created this strikingly handsome volume. Ford’s ULTIMATE GAY SEX is clearly an entirely new type of sex information handbook. This book is meant to be proudly displayed in gay homes front and center on the coffee table and not hidden away in a bureau drawer for occasional furtive reading. Ford is indisputably a proud gay man and this extremely informative and attractively packaged book makes it clear that he wants every other gay man to enjoy safe, satisfying and confident sexual lives. ULTIMATE GAY SEX is unmistakably a sex manual done with style and panache. The advice is sound and Ford's writing is lively featuring his trademark breezy flair and with solid touches of humor (e.g., an information sidebar labeled “Dil-Do’s and Don’ts” is included in his discussion of sex toys.) The trademark glossy DK finesse for color photography in this case features sexy models that represent a positive depiction of various ages, races, and ethnic groups. The 300+ photographs are as superb as they are erotic. They reveal full frontal nudity and men enjoying hot, exciting sex in multiple positions, but there is never any pandering to pornographic or lascivious tastes. Ford's highly informative sex guide is divided into five main chapters: Being Gay (coming out, gay image, diversity); Your Amazing Body (anatomy, erogenous zones, sex and health); You and Your Partners (singledom v. relationship, casual sex, breakups); Sex: Doing It (safer sex, masturbation, oral and anal sex, positions, fetishes); and Problem Solving (relationship problems, types of STDs, aging, HIV and AIDS). Ford writes comprehensively and covers an exceptionally wide array of topics from how to handle rejection to domestic violence. Commendably, Ford’s commentary and instruction falls into two primary message categories: safe sex is always paramount and no matter how great it is, sex is secondary to loving oneself as a person and being capable of giving love to another person. These are absolutely essential messages all too often left out of how-to-do-it sex manuals and guides. Ford tackles subjects that go far beyond the mere mechanics of experiencing gay sex. One example. His essay celebrating exhibitionism is both revealing and fun to read. He describes how exhibitionism can increase self-esteem for the single gay guy but also add a whole new dimension of mutual appreciation to existing partnerships. One pleasurable tip. A creative lover can videotape himself seductively undressing and secretly slip the cassette into the suitcase his lover has packed for a business trip. This fun expression of gay love is just one of dozens of examples Ford provides that makes the book rewarding for those in new as well as long-term relationships. ULTIMATE GAY SEX is chiefly intended for an adult gay male audience, but a concerned parent newly aware of a mature gay 16-18 year-old son might well consider presenting him with this book as a coming out present. Ford is a better, funnier, and much more benign teacher than back streets, predatory and selfish adults, or just plain ignorance. While the photography is sexually explicit it is not pornographic and never debasing. Handsome men are revealed appreciating, enjoying and maintaining well the sacred and healthy bodies life has given them. The book is handsomely produced and well packaged and sells for $30 hardback. The thoughtful text is written in a lively style and the book is filled with extra information presented via sidebars on virtually every page. The photography is sexy and lush in the color and presentation. ULTIMATE GAY SEX deserves a place in many, if not all the homes of gay men, single or partnered. Singles may use its wisdom to find that perfect mate, and current partners may learn a new trick or two to add spice to their existing relationship. Jerry Flack Denver, CO jflack@ix.netcom.com |
Bio:
Jerry Flack Jerry Flack is a retired professor of education from the University of Colorado. He lives in Denver, Colorado with his partner of fourteen years, who is also a retired educator. He loves reading, especially gay literature, and watching gay cinema (current favorites are "ROAD TRIP" and "GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN"), and traveling throughout the glorious Southwest, especially in Santa Fe and Taos, New Mexico, and the Colorado Rockies.  |